Beginning Anew

Well, I guess it has probably been noted that it has been nearly 2 weeks since my last blog post. The day of my last post will likely be a day that changes my life forever. As many of you know, we were going to be heading to the doctor that day to find out the sex of our baby.

To make a long story short, the ultrasounds came back with some pretty devastating news... our baby has low amniotic fluid and does not currently have functioning kidneys according to the doctor and a specialist. We are seeking another opinion from a fetal medicine specialist soon, hopefully.

There is so much stuff to write here... so much to say, and there is no way to condense it all into something that wouldn't take you all 2 weeks to read. Let me try to give you the high points.

We know that God is faithful. We know that He loves this baby more than we ever could, and that he loves us and knows the pain we feel. We also know that God is a God of miracles and healing and that more than once, doctors have been wrong. Along with our friends and family, we are praying for a huge miracle to come out of all this.

These last couple of weeks, I have discovered how many friends and "family" I truly have. It's so easy to just say "Oh, that's awful" or something and move on. Not this group. They have been truly lifewalking with Ann and I. The phone calls, cards, meals, and just face time have been something that I will always remember no matter what happens with our baby.

Another great thing from all this is that my faith has increased 100 fold in the last few days. After reeling from the shock of this news for a few minutes I realized that this was something much larger than me. It is in my nature to fix things, to make it better somehow. This time there is nothing I can do. There are no steps that I can take that will fix it. There is no solution that will cost X number of dollars or amount of effort to fix it. I don't think I realized that I was capable of laying something in Gods hands as completely as this. All I can do about it is pray, trust God to work either supernaturally or through doctors and nurses, and keep my insurance paid.

Work has been hectic as usual and not surprisingly I have worked about 60 hours this week. Long, long week... but like this blog post, it's coming to an end.

I'll leave you with something that has been of great comfort to us this week. It is from the part where Jesus is about to go heal/raise from the dead Jarius' daughter, and the people came to tell Jarius to leave Jesus alone, because his daughter was dead.

Mark 5:36

"Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid; just believe.""