Beginning Anew

Let us never mind why I had to buy a toilet plunger... I believe we all know that sometimes these things happen.

What I cannot figure out is why it is impossible to be cool while purchasing a toilet plunger.

If you see a guy buying feminine products, you say to yourself... "gee what a guy, sacrificing his dignity for the one he loves... "

If you see someone buying toilet paper.. it's not a big deal, right? I mean we ALL require that product... so why then does buying a toilet plunger become such an uneasy experience?? Here's why...

After parking in another county in order to walk about a half mile to the front door of what I refer to as the "Ghetto Wal-Mart" I begin my search in the place I feel to be most logical... cleaning supplies. Seems reasonable, here we have things with handles... mops, brooms, etc... and we have cleaning supplies, toilet cleaner, draino these sort of things right? So it seems like a great place for me to start.

Wrong.

After much searching I decide to approach a rather grandmotherly looking Wal-Mart employee, thinking that if anyone can discuss toilet plungers without giggling... this is it. So I say, in my most confident, but non-attention drawing tone "Excuse me ma'am, but I am looking for the toilet plungers"

"SAY WHAT?!?!?!"

Great... Gramma here didn't put in her new hearing aid battery today... so I say little louder... "Toilet Plungers"... gigling from behind me begins....
"TOILET PLUNGERS"....

"OH TOILET PLUNGERS!!!" She says "THOSE ARE IN HARDWARE RIGHT NEXT TO THE PLUMBING SUPPLIES"

Smirking continues in the background...

Hardware is, as fate would have it, on the entire opposite side of the store from where I parked.. not to mention that it is in the back corner. So I proceed. I quickly pick out the most sturdy looking one and start the seemingly mile long trek to the front of the store.

Lets keep in mind that I have no buggy full of goods... you know, milk, bread, magazines, toilet plunger... nope.. I have one item... that's right just one...

I carried it with pride, as if someone had given me an award for excellence in... something, anything...
This was NOT easy.

I finally endure the journey to the front, where i see a line that is short and seems to be the quickest way out. The folks in line ahead move along and the lady just starts to walk away. I'm holding a toilet plunger... I don't want to draw too much attention, but I do want to get out some time today. So I say nicely "excuse me? Ma'am?"

"I'm Closed"

"Oh, but I only ha..."

"I said, i'm Closed"

Great.

I get my items scanned and out the door... But lets remember where I parked. Yes friends, the journey the half mile back to my car was quite possibly the worst of all... people are free to laugh loudly in the security of their cars. I don't know if anyone did, but I can imagine. Maybe i'm paranoid, but I still conclude that....

"There is no way to be cool while buying a toilet plunger. "

Yep.